My New Favorite Man

Dear Mommy:
I just wanted you to see what kind of man I found. Check out this bubble bath. Ohhhh, it felt soooo good. Next to me is my new favorite drink: Rum ‘n Ca. He even gave me a special straw to suck on. Mmmm…

Later, we talked about the fun traveling that you and I have done and he said he wants to make me happy, so it looks like we’ll be heading out soon. Did I say head? I’ll give some of that. ;)

Your Mug

Dear Mommy:

Dear Mommy:
I’ve been transferred to a new man. It made me miss you for a minute and I tried to sneak out, but then he broke out with a whip and let me know what happens to bad girls who disobey. It stung a little, but you know what? I liked it. A lot.

I just found out I only made #4 on your weekend-recap post from Monday. You care more about Honey Bombs?

Why Mommy?
Your Mug

Looky What I Got

Diddy:
I’m the new owner of your shit. Junk-stuffer sent the precious cargo via UPS and even sent me the shipping receipts so there’s no evidence at his house to incriminate him. I have to keep your shit in the box for now. There are some intriguing items I need to purchase for our future time together. Defiling your property. Wow. I think I’m getting a boner.
-lhp

Mug On The Move

Dear Mommy:
I think I’m being sent away. I was in the other room and I heard the man on the phone talking about his cover being blown. And I haven’t blown anything (yet) so I’m assuming he meant someone found out he has me. That might be why he also mentioned something about hashers never being able to keep secrets. You can’t keep secrets either, Mommy. Is that why we’re not together anymore? Anyway, he put me in this box full of nice cushy padding, and at first, I thought this was my new bed. At least until he sealed me inside. It’s dark and I’m scared.
Love,
Your Mug

Torture? Maybe Not...

Dear Mommy:
You left without me. I cried for a while and fell asleep because I was still kinda drunk. Then I was awakened to a lot of laughing and some hashers were throwing around big words like dubahshury or something. They grabbed me and I was scared for a minute, but then one of them put me under a faucet and actually washed me. You've never done that before, mommy. It felt nice. Then one of them was stuffing me with his junk. Why haven't you ever explained men to me before? I mean, I've seen them around, but never like THAT. I kinda liked it. I'll have to talk later. I think he's cumming. I mean, coming. Hee Hee.
Love,
Your Mug