The Adventures of Diddy's Mug

WARNING

NOT WORK FRIENDLY. You might see guest stars who were hired to show their naughty bits.

If you want to read the story from the beginning, go to the Archive over there on the right-hand column and start with February 2006.

-Diddy's Mug's Man

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Mission Accomplished

Mister X and Diddy's Good Mug had a long talk on the plane ride home, and it helped Mister X understand how special she was. While Diddy's Evil Mug would be going back to Diddy soon, Mister X realized that a life of drinking and debauchery would be hellish for our heavenly heroine.

So Mister X devised a plan.

With a little inspiration from the bible, Diddy's Good Mug just might be able to go back to where she belonged.

Suddenly, it got very still. The wind stopped blowing, and the sun seemed to get just a little bit brighter.

Mister X raised Diddy's Good Mug up to the sky... and let go.

And Diddy's Good Mug started floating.

Mister X was sure he heard Angels singing as he watched Diddy's Good Mug get smaller and smaller, and slowly disappear. Just after he lost sight of the Mug, Mister X heard a faint ringing, like the sound a quarter makes when somebody flips it into the air. And it kept getting louder.

And right into Mister X's gloved hand... landed the halo.

I'm sure you can all come up with different explanations for that. I'd like to think that Diddy's Good Mug finally got her real halo, and no longer needed the earthly one.

And what better present could Mister X get for going beyond the call of duty? He decided the perfect place for the halo would be on his own Trash Mug. And he would keep it there forever.

THE END

Perfect Timing

The two mugs met under the tree and it was a joyous occasion. But they weren't in the clear yet. Where was Mister X?

No time to think about that now. They had to run for cover.

They made it to the back side of the property and got tied up in some of the desert shiggy.

But those huge cactus also provided great places to shield themselves from human eyes. They heard a lot of commotion over near the studio. Oh no! Did the humans already find out Diddy's Good Mug was gone?

Just then, a powerful, gloved hand scooped up the two fleeing mugs and shoved them in a bag. Diddy's Good Mug was finally safe!

The Great Escape

Diddy's Good Mug was graced with heavenly powers, and was able to sense a positive presence as soon as Mister X got close. She felt drawn toward the guest house where Hoover Daaamn's Mug was hiding. That magnetism gave her the energy to attempt an escape.

Using rope she was recently tied with for a bondage scene, Diddy's Good Mug was able to get outside the steel doors and climb down to the ground.

Run, Diddy's Good Mug!

She quickly made it to the edge of the property and ran along the wall toward the guest house.

She heard a human nearby and decided to hide for a moment. Wow, was she scared!

The beauty of the landscaping gave her strength, and she found the courage to continue.

One last sprint across an open, grassy part of the property led her to the side of the guest house.

Diddy's Good Mug reached the tree where Hoover Daaamn's Mug was hiding, and knew something spectacular was about to happen.

A Good Idea

I'm back at the porn studio for the last part of my assignment.

There's too much going on near the main entrance, with gates and cameras, so I will have to shift to Plan B.

A drive around the area leads me to believe I can infiltrate the property from the back, through this fence.

My Global Positioning System will lead me to the correct spot.

OK, I've made it to the edge of the property. This is the guest house, next to the studio. The mansion and main drive are on the other side, so I'll have better luck here avoiding security if I work from here.

I need something to lure Diddy's Good Mug, in case breaking into the studio leads to unforeseen problems. Hoover Daaamn's Mug will work.

Keep still and stay out of sight.

A Score for Mister X

All the information I've gathered tells me that Diddy's Evil Mug is near this lighthouse. I've seen this before. It's on the west side of Lake Michigan.

I'm getting closer.

This looks like it.

Yup. A perfect match.

Is that the Mug off in the distance?

Hey, Diddy's Evil Mug found a companion. All the better.

YOINK.
One down, one to go.

We Found a New Home

We finally drank our fill and traveled north to find a place to crash. We hopped into a pickup truck outside the Miller Brewery and ended up in Port Washington, right on the lake. Hell yeah.