Letters

Like I told you last time, I got a ton of mail over that post from South Carolina. Apparently, I'm an uncaring slut. I've finally been able to respond to everyone. Here is some of the stuff I got in my in-box and how I replied.



Dear Diddy's Mug:

Oh my God. I got in so much trouble at work. You posted those pictures of that guy masturbating near you and my supervisor walked by just as I was scrolling past it. Can't you warn people before you post dirty stuff on your page? Damn.

Norman M
Black Jack, Missouri



Dear Norman:

Wow, you're checking up on me from work? I should be flattered that you can't even wait until you get home. Ha.

Anyway, you asked me to create some sort of warning before I post something work-unfriendly to my page. You mean my page with "I Have Your SHIT" scrawled across the top? Norman... Get a clue, please.

Love,
Diddy's Mug



Dear Diddy's Mug:
You say you won't do a guy without a condom, but the first picture on this site is a condomless guy tea-bagging you. What gives?

Ryan B
Torrington, CT



Dear Ryan:

I wasn’t exactly OK’ing the episode surrounding that first pic. It’s not like I can run. But I'm impervious to human STD's anyway.

When it comes to sex, I plan on being Mommy's full-time vessel again sooner or later, and I want her to be happy to drink out of me. The thought of bodily fluids ever touching her mug would no doubt gross her out. Plus, the no-bodily-fluids rule goes along nicely with the general rule of Trash bibbings. I told my Man about this early on. When the Dallas Spam incident happened, he was looking out for me and gave them condoms. That’s why you see a condom in the photo.

Thank you for writing.
Diddy's Mug



Dear Diddy's Mug:

I just went into my children's room and saw them on your site. They were giggling at the picture of that man's penis. Can't you find wholesome things to post? I don't appreciate you polluting my children with your outlandish behavior.

Cindy C
Florence, CO



Dear Cindy:

This is a private site. The person who originally took me set up this site so it does not show up on search engines. If I were a parent, I think I would be more worried about the people your children are hanging out with, because obviously, someone they know gave them my website address.

If you're so worried about protecting your children, why don't you have a blocker on your computer? If you had one, this site would have NEVER came up because of the language. Also, since you don't have a blocker, do you realize how many sites are publically available that your children can look at? Yes, actual PORN sites. Cindy, please learn to be a decent parent before you criticize anyone else.

Thank you,
Diddy's Mug



Dear Diddy's Mug:

I am appalled at your behavior. Early on, I felt bad that you were abducted, and then felt a sense of joy knowing your Man was treating you well. But your recent exploits are not moral, and it's upsetting to see you travelling down the path of sin. I hope you can find it within yourself to restore your sense of innocence and self-worth.

Betty F
Laredo, Texas



Dear Betty:

You and I are obviously different, and I'm not just talking about exterior appearances. I respect your opinions and beliefs, and at the same time, I expect you to respect mine, especially since I didn't ask you to view this page. Not everyone can be like you, and if we were, you would have no one to preach to. And by the way, who are you to decide what's moral? Sex and nakedness might be immoral to you because of what you've been told, or how you've interpreted whatever Holy Book you own, but let me fill you in on something shocking: There is more than one religion. So what makes you think you're the one who's right? What I'm doing is called having FUN. And trying to convince me that what I do is immoral is not going to stop me.

While I'm on the subject, if you don't like how I have fun, Google "Sesame Street" and view some wholesome entertainment. Oh, but wait... I don't mean to burst your conservative bubble, but Bert and Ernie have a thing for each other. Can you say GAY SUBTEXT? Ha. Asshat.

Love,
Diddy's Slutty Mug